Shark Eye and the Pool Monsoon Boy Cronies

I planned on 2900 yards in the pool today, but was actually closer to 2300, I think. I lost count around 1400 or so because of Shark Eye and Pool Monsoon Boy.

Shark Eye and Pool Monsoon Boy are the cronies for Chunky Middle Age Kick Ass Swim Woman. Normally in the same lane, she directs their workout as they hang on her every word like little guppies. Don't get me wrong, they all kick ass, much faster than I am, but that doesn't change what happened today.

Word had it that Swim Team #2 wasn't go to show up until 6:30 today so we "recereational" swimmers had the use of five, yes that's right, five whole lanes. The old dude who always wears a swim cap but still shampoos with special "swimmer's" shampoo had the lane next to the swim team (as he always does, I assume for the view) and I had my own lane next to him. I got in a few hundred yards before they showed up.

They usually swim in the same lane so they can easily huddle up and block others from doing flip turns because apparently, their workout is more important. But today, Pool Monsoon Boy decides to swim in my lane while Chunky Middle Age Kick Ass Swim Woman share another. Knowing that Pool Monsoon Boy is much faster and we had an abundance of lanes this morning, I recommend not doing circles and he agrees. Big Mistake.

For a while, things go smoothly, then I find myself on the same pace as Shark Eye in the other lane. Every time I take a breath, he takes a breath and fixes on me with what appears to be a Shark Eye beneath his right goggle. Is he looking at me?

Stroke. Stroke. Breath... there he is again!
Stroke. Stroke. Again... he's staring!
Stroke. Stroke. Go away Shark Eye!
Stroke. Stroke. Oh no!
Stroke. Stroke. Stop staring at me!
Stroke. Stroke. I can't take this...
Stroke. Stroke. My god, that eye!
Stroke. Stroke. Spray! Gasp. What the hell?

My rythym is broken (thank God!) as water splashes in my face from somewhere.

I do a few more laps, then as we are passing in opposite directions, Pool Monsoon Boy showers me again with spray from his overly wide arm stroke and apparent wrist flip as he cruised right down the middle of the lane.

Okay, I am normally an easy-going person, but today, maybe because of Chris' Wheel-Sucker post, or maybe just because no store in the Raleigh area seems to carry my beloved Grape Nuts anymore, I decide to not be nice and swim closer to the rope, but instead, move closer to the middle myself. No dice. Though I am now under the trajectory of his chlorinated monsoon shower, Pool Monsoon Boy doesn't budge. Now, I must admit, I am not proud of this and hesitate to write it, but damn it, I was mad.

So, I make a little adjustment to my stroke and with a little bit of a flip, the same flip that Pool Monsoon Boy must use, I flick a little spray his way on our next pass as he opens wide for air. Finally, he retreats from the center of the lane as I do myself, settling back in to my normal rhythm.

Okay... wall... that's 1400-- wait! 1600 right? No, wasn't the last one 1400, which would make this 1500. No! I can't be at 1500 this soon... Man! I lost count. Damn you Shark Eye, Pool Monsoon Boy and Chunky Middle Age Kick Ass Swim Woman!